Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Sham WHAT?!?

Sham WOW! It holds twelve times it's weight in liquid! Whatever. It probably weighs less than an amoeba, and twelve times that weighs about as much as a paramecium. As the saying goes, if it sounds TOO good, it probably is.

Now please don't pepper me with insults if you are a disciple of the great and mighty Sham Wow. I'm sure it would have saved my last carpet if I just had owned one. But, come on, the guy takes this little cloth, pours a 55 gallon drum of Kool-Aid on it, and there isn't even a drop to be seen within a hundred yards. Something tells me it's not just the Sham Wow that's getting soaked.

Spills are a way of life in my home. With nine children, four under the age of ten, milk and other sundry fluids flow onto the rug like refreshing showers in a rain forest. The walls and furniture need to be scrubbed regularly to remove the white polka-dots caused by evaporated two-percent. I have replaced several keyboards and a printer because of milky mishaps. One Christmas day we excitedly set up a new computer to replace the sticky mess that kept overheating only to have young Joseph pour Orange Crush in the DVD slot. Proud moment.

Apparently all we needed was Sham Wow.

Life is full of messes, messes we make all on our own. Just like kids, we spill our milk all over the place. We hurt those we love with our insults and by taking them for granted. We gossip about others and whack at their reputations like a pinata full of Tootsie Rolls. We look with envy at other's stuff and fail to appreciate the gifts we have been given. We drink too much. We eat too much. We avoid work and sacrifice and expect others to do it for us. We just keep messing up the place.

Wouldn't it be nice if there was a big Sham Wow that could just soak up all our messes?

There is. It's called CONFESSION. It's free of charge, it soaks up everything you put in it, and you can keep using it over and over and it never wears out. In confession you get to talk to Jesus and dump all the "stuff" out of your heart, and it's gone. No mess, no fuss. Available right now at your neighborhood Catholic Church. Beware of imitations. Get yours today!

3 comments:

  1. "we all know the germans make good stuff" - ShamWOW guy

    ReplyDelete
  2. And according to a news account, the Sham Wow fellow might need to get to confession himself.

    Something involving assault charges, and a bit more.

    ReplyDelete

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